Sneak Peek at the latest stand-alone Twin Bluebonnet Ranch Mystery
When the cast of a 90s sitcom books the dude ranch for their reunion special, the twin sisters are thrust into the spotlight.
Chapter 1 - You Got it Dude
Samantha
I slipped the hammer into the loop on my belt and straightened the old-timey sheriff’s sign. “How’s that?”
My twin sister Lizzie closed one eye and tilted her head. “A little to the left. Nope, now a smidge right.” Her mouth curled. “Back to the left a nudge.”
“It’s perfect.” My bootheels clomped down the steps as I stepped back to check my work.
I recognized her attempt to push my buttons. This entire event was an exercise in driving me to the edge of a cliff. If a weekend filled with teaching a hoard of flakey Hollywood actors to ride horses wasn’t bad enough, now I had to deal with an eyesore on the property.
“I can’t believe I bought it for a song.” Lizzie smirked. “This livens up the dude ranch, don’t you think?”
Ever since our parents retired and turned over the reins to Lizzie, she conducted one scheme after another to turn our finances around. And to her credit, most of them worked. But my quiet little home was too often invaded by pretend cowboys who couldn’t tell one end of the horse from the other. I missed the days of waking up at dawn to tend to the ranch or train horses. Breaking a wild stallion was easier than taking strangers on trail rides.
“I told you it would look better built,” Lizzie said. “The fresh coat of paint did wonders.”
I tilted my straw Stetson hat to block the sunshine. “The jury is still out.”
A production company running a going out of business sale auctioned off old props from various television shows and Lizzie made an impulse buy on a massive outdoor set.
The dusty, well-trodden path ran through the center of the ‘ghost town’, flanked by rows of weathered faux front buildings. Hitching posts and a wooden boardwalk lined Main Street.
Most of the buildings were cutouts with detailed facades and rendered to look like a bustling Old West town with a general store, hotel, blacksmith, livery, and a bank. The windows featured painted-on scenes, creating an illusion of life inside. The saloon, sheriff’s office, and jail were the only three-dimensional structures in the town. But they practically disintegrated when the truck dropped them off and required major repair. It took two days working around the clock to get them into usable condition.
“This is too hokey, even for a dude ranch,” I said.
“It will be a huge draw for tourism.” Lizzie snagged a paintbrush to do a few touchups. “Families with kids are going to love it.”
Our ranch hand, Doak Walker Montgomery tossed painting supplies and a tarp in the back of the pickup. “Next thing you know, she’ll be asking us to put on a show and reenact an Old West gunfight.”
“Don’t give her any ideas.”
“People are going to eat this up,” Lizzie said. “Especially the group this weekend.”
“Who is coming this weekend?” Our petite best friend Becky popped up from behind the swinging saloon doors streaked with paint. “Y’all never said.”
Lizzie gestured to me, miming to zip my mouth. As if I needed a reminder to keep a secret. “City slickers from Dallas on a corporate retreat.”
If Becky knew the truth, it would kill her. A month ago, Lizzie booked actors from a popular 90s sitcom called Mandy’s Home. They planned a get-together for their twenty-year reunion and to discuss the potential of a reboot. Becky was their biggest fan, and we arranged the weekend as a surprise for her. Until we realized she wouldn’t be in town.
She had the rare Saturday afternoon final at Texas A&M and was cramming nonstop. If she didn’t ace the test, she would be forced to retake biology next semester. Lizzie and I agreed to keep the cast’s visit a secret to not tempt her.
Which only worked if she was gone when they arrived. I checked my watch. Cutting it close. “Isn’t your train leaving soon?”
“In two hours. I have plenty of time.”
Lizzie pointed to the clear blue sky. “There are weather reports about a massive storm system rolling in. Thunder, rain, lightning, the works.”
“With all the rain we had this spring, it won’t take much for the bridge to flood,” Doak added. “Wouldn’t want to find ourselves trapped way out here.”
“Not to mention you need to clean up first.” I waved a hand from her head to her toes. “You’re covered in paint.”
Becky frowned. “Why do I get the feeling y’all are trying to rush me out of town?”
“We don’t want to distract you.” Lizzie smiled. “The reason you bomb bio.”
She sighed. “I guess you’re right. I’m procrastinating because I hate studying but also, I always dread leaving once I’ve been home a while.”
“It’s a tough one.” I clapped my hands together. “Welp, better get moving.”
“After this final, you’ll have the whole summer to spend here. You’ll be sick of us.” Lizzie laughed as she laid it on a little too thick.
As an aspiring actress, Becky obsessed over anything and everything related to television. Keeping the secret would be difficult but it was for her own good. As soon as she finished the final, we’d tell her the truth so she could join in the fun.
“Are you still giving me a ride to the station?” Becky asked.
Lizzie cleared her throat. “Boone volunteered since we’re all swamped prepping for the demanding corporate clients.” She grabbed her phone. “Oh, look at that, he just called to say he’s waiting at the main house.”
Doak climbed onto his paint horse, Scout, and extended a calloused hand. “Hop on Beckers, I’ll give you a lift. I know a few shortcuts.”
She grimaced and hitched a thumb over her shoulder. “I’ll take my chances on the ATV.”
Even though she spent many moments on our ranch and was the descendant of a rodeo legend, the girl was petrified of every equine from ponies to Clydesdales. As she rode off on the four-wheeler, our trio breathed a sigh of relief.
“Keeping this from her is going to be torture,” Doak said. “Is Boone in on the truth?”
“Are you kidding?” Lizzie shook her head. “That blabbermouth magician couldn’t keep his yap shut for the five-minute ride to the train station. Let’s pinky swear the gossip doesn’t leave our group.”
“At least until she finishes her final tomorrow afternoon.”
“Not to doubt the experts, but I think we’re going to need more help this weekend.” Doak removed his tan Resistol hat and rubbed a hand through his slightly shaggy brown hair. “These Hollywood types can be quite demanding.”
“Our cousin Jimmy Romano is visiting from New York,” I said. “He doesn’t know a thing about horses but he’s strong and can follow instructions.”
Lizzie shrugged. “Molly Beth is pitching in too.”
Doak snorted. “Since when does your big sister lift a finger to help run this place?”
“Since she heard her TV crush Rocky Thompson is coming.”
I tilted the brim of my hat. “This is going to be a long weekend.”
“Speaking of which…” Lizzie retrieved her clipboard from the pickup. “In the case of storms, we need to plan some indoor activities to occupy our guests. The meteorologist on Channel 7 claims it will pass right over us but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”
“I’m not entertaining these people indoors,” I said. “Trail rides and campfire stories are all I agreed to. If those plans are rained out, so be it.”
“I’m thinking board games and movies.” Lizzie drummed the pad with her pen, ignoring my proclamation. “We could bring them to the ghost town in the truck with umbrellas…”
“I don’t think a group of actors will be impressed with your hokey set. They see stuff like this all the time,” I said.
“You’re sure it’s leakproof Doak?”
He winked. “I’m almost as good of a carpenter as I am a deputy.”
Now that Doak completed police training and took a few criminal justice classes at the community college, he worked for us on a less regular basis. But he was good at pitching in when we needed him.
“You’ll have a lot in common with Cousin Jimmy.” Lizzie checked items off her clipboard. “He’s a rookie in the NYPD.”
“No offense but he sounds like a snob.” Doak spread his arms, stretching his plaid shirt. “New York’s finest? Quite the ego they got.”
Lizzie rolled her eyes. “I guess that about does it. The cabins are cleaned, stocked, and all set for guests. The cook has a list of dietary restrictions and will plan the menu accordingly. The itinerary is finalized.” She clapped her hands. “Are y’all ready for our closeup?”
I sighed as I climbed aboard Peaches, my Palomino mare. “Ready as I’ll never be.”
Doak and I raced back to the house on horseback while Lizzie took the pickup the long way on the main road. When we reached the river crossing, we slowed to a trot.
He whistled through his teeth and guided Scout to the riverbank. “Water’s already high. We don’t need more rain.”
I nudged Peaches toward the shallow end and we splashed into the cool water. “I’ll take what we can get. It will dry up in a couple of weeks when summer hits.”
Doak clicked his tongue, urging his horse to cross the babbling brook. “Did you do your research on the cast?”
“I’m not a big television fan.”
“Perhaps but I know you, Samantha, you always have to be the smartest in the room and you hate to not know the answers.”
“I don’t have to be, I just am.”
“My mistake. So, what does your photographic memory database have on Mandy’s Home?”
“I binged a few seasons.”
“Would ‘few’ in this context mean eight or all ten?” He grinned. “Don’t try to fool me, Brown Eyes.”
Peaches sidestepped and scurried onto the bank. “What detail do you want?”
“I was more of a Full House guy and didn’t care for the rip-off show. What is Mandy’s Home about?”
“A family of four – parents with two boys ages ten and twelve – are surprised with a new baby sister. They need a bigger house so they move to the suburbs and name the place Mandy’s Home after the baby.”
“Okay.”
“The father teaches the boys lessons in every episode that never stick and he has an overused catchphrase when he’s disciplining them.”
“This is my house, Cupcake.” Doak nodded. “I remember that much.”
“Ratings were middle of the road in the first season. The family was boring, the baby didn’t talk, and the writing was lazy. In season two they debuted a sassy and witty recurring neighbor. She got all the good lines and gave attitude right back to the boys. The audience loved her. In season three, they not only added the neighbor to the credits as a series regular, but they also recast baby Mandy and aged her to four years old. But the actress playing her was eight which allowed them flexibility with her skill level. She started stealing scenes in the first episode when she appropriated the dad’s catchphrase and used it against him.”
“And all these people are showing up today?”
I nodded. “You got it, dude.”
“How many are we talking?” Doak’s bushy brows furrowed. “Writers, producers, the key grip?”
“Only main cast. The oldest boy got married in season nine and they didn’t bother to invite the wife or their grown-up triplets.” I pulled back on the reins as we reached the house.
“What about real family members?”
“Thankfully we only have the actors to deal with.” My nose scrunched. “And the documentary guy who’s following them around to film the reunion.”
“We’re going to be on TV? I don’t like this.”
“I doubt we’ll make the cut.”
Jimmy leaned on his rental car and ran a hand through his floppy hair. He crossed his arms over his white T-shirt and smirked. “Samantha, looking like a pro up there.”
“I am a pro. I won a blue ribbon last Fourth of July in barrel racing and I train horses every day.”
“Boy, have I missed you.” He grinned. “When the cameras start rolling, I should make sure they capture my good side.”
Doak huffed as he dismounted. “You got to be kidding me.”
“You’re right, I don’t have a bad side.” The cocky smile spread. “This must be Mayberry RFD.”
I pointed to the cowboy. “Deputy Doak Walker Montgomery. He fills in on the ranch when we have difficult clients.”
“How’s it going, Boss?” Jimmy, not used to being shorter than many people, stood a little taller as he shook his hand.
Doak glared at the top of his head. “They allow that mane on the NYC police force?”
“Yours isn’t exactly high and tight, Bubba.”
“Glad y’all are getting along so well. Lizzie was right about you becoming fast friends.” My eyes cut to the driveway as her truck rolled up.
“We’re on the same job. I’m sure we’ve got lots to talk about.” Jimmy rocked on his Converses. “You guys get any interesting cases in the sticks?”
“You’d be surprised.” Doak tipped his cowboy hat. “We better find you some boots if you’re going to be mucking stalls.”
“Doing what now?”
Doak tossed him a shovel. “Life on a ranch, Boss.”
“I’ve been here before, you know. Spent a whole summer chasing around their big brother. I can work a ranch.”
Lizzie marched out of the barn. “As much as I love when you haze the new guy, Doak, we need to present a united front against the actors. Otherwise, they’ll gang up on us.”
My head jerked to the road as a fleet of black Range Rovers kicked up dust. “They’re here.”
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Note: Keeping with the theme of a 90s sitcom reunion, every chapter is named after a famous Full House quote. Did your favorite make the cut?
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